How to Deal with Stress

Kiana shares a a list of ways that we can all handle stress. Some of which are more creative than others.

1.) Time management is key. Set a specific time aside to deal with your obligations.

2.) Take a time out. Remove yourself from the thing causing you anxiety for a little bit. Taking a short break will help you gain perspective and allow you to re-enter the situation with a new eyes.

3.) Take deep breaths. Try and relax. No matter how stressful things get, try and remind yourself that it’s not the end of the world!

4.) Offer yourself as a sacrifice to the Earth Mother, Gaia. Let her pull you deep within the soil. Sigh faintly as you sink into her molten crevices.

5.) Set fire to something beautiful. As it burns, remember that you are a golden orb of light, a shining supernova of beauty that will never fade away.

6.) Become ravenously addicted to cocaine. Feel the dopamine flood your system. Smile softly as your stress melts away.

7.) Fake your own death. Leave all of your anxiety behind and adopt a new identity. Your name isn’t Kristen anymore, no! Now you are Tracy Roads, ace detective, and your stress is a thing of the past.

8.) Learn what triggers your anxiety. Then, make a blood pact with a demon to ensure that those things stay out of your life.

9.) Peel off all of our clothing until you are completely nude. Turn off all the lights and get in the shower. Turn the water up to its hottest temperature. Let the water beat down upon your bare back until your skin becomes numb. Nothing can hurt you now.

10.) Peel off all of your clothing until you are completely nude. Wrap yourself up in several woolen blankets. Huddle deep within their woolen crevices and pretend you are a fetus, deep within your mother’s womb. The stress cannot reach you here.

11.) Peel off all of your clothing until you are completely nude. Go to a crowded beach and then run into the ocean. A lifeguard will dive in after you and drag you to safety. As he performs CPR on you, you will feel a wave of relief and a new-found zest for life wash over you. Or no one will see you and you’ll drown. But hey, you’ve got nothing to lose!

Good Luck!

 

 

Kiana Williams About Kiana Williams

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